Love's New Price tag!

How Money Has Hijacked Romance

 by JOSEPH OWINO ADONGON.

Is love enough without something small? 

A scorching Monday at Moi University, the sun blazing overhead, and a group of friends trudging down the academic highway toward Talai Centre after a lecture in NCT 8. It’s just past noon, and we’re parched, craving a cold soda to cut through the heat. As we walk, a cluster of radiant ladies passes by, their laughter floating on the breeze. I nudge a quiet friend, grinning: “So, any girlfriend yet, or are you still the mystery man?” His reply stops me cold: “Madem wataku vuruta nyuma, tengeneza pesa kwanza”, “Ladies will drag you back; make money first.” The others pile on, their voices sharp: today’s women don’t care about genuine love, they’re after men with money. Later, I sat with my friend Elizabeth, probing deeper. Her response? “Mwanaume ni pesa”, “A man is money.” That moment wasn’t just a casual exchange; it was a mirror held up to a society where love’s heart has been swapped for a wallet’s heft. I believe we’re losing something sacred, and it’s time we fight to take it back.

My stance is clear: the notion of true love, built on connection, trust, and mutual respect, is being drowned out by a transactional obsession with wealth, especially among women sizing up men’s financial status. This isn’t just a campus quirk; it’s a cultural crisis reshaping relationships, breaking marriages, and even costing lives. We can’t let money dictate our bonds, it’s a betrayal of what love should be, and the fallout is too steep to ignore.

That Monday walk wasn’t an isolated echo. Across Kenya, the signs are everywhere. My friends’ frustration, “ladies value men with money over those with genuine love” reflects a growing sentiment. Social media amplifies it: Instagram reels flash Mercedes gliding through Nairobi streets, TikTok touts #SoftLife with designer bags and rooftop cocktails.  For many women, a man’s pocket isn’t a bonus it’s the baseline. Elizabeth’s blunt “Mwanaume ni pesa” isn’t her alone; it’s a chorus I’ve heard from campus to city, a mantra born from a world where survival trumps sentiment. Once, love was a shared journey, now it’s a balance sheet, and the numbers don’t lie.

For men, this shift is a relentless squeeze. “Tengeneza pesa kwanza” isn’t a suggestion, it’s a mandate. Young guys feel judged not by their wit or warmth but by their cash A 20 something hustling to build a future watches helplessly as “wababa” those older, cashed-up men in Mercedes swoop in, their luxury cars gleaming like bait. My friend’s retreat into silence speaks volumes: without money, he’s invisible. Some push back, scrambling for cash through jobs, side hustles, or riskier ventures, think betting apps or loan sharks. Others give up, nursing a quiet resentment. The “wababa” effect deepens the sting: a 2024 X thread I stumbled across raged about “girls ditching broke boys for sugar daddies in Mercedes,” a bitter snapshot of a trust gap widening fast. Men aren’t just losing dates, they’re losing faith in love itself, and that cynicism poisons their futures.

For women, this money-first lens promises safety but delivers danger. Elizabeth’s words reflect a generation raised on pragmatism: a Mercedes in the garage beats a poet’s promise. It’s not irrational, poverty bites, partners who can pay the bills. But it’s a Faustian bargain. Chasing “wababa” or rich suitors trades intimacy for invoices. Some hit the jackpot, lavish homes, glossy selfies, but others crash hard. Marriages built on cash crumble when the account dips or the thrill fades to mismatched dreams. Darker still, the pursuit turns fatal: Airbnbs across Kenya have become crime scenes, with young women found dead after meeting men with luxury cars and big promises. A 2024 Nation story flagged over 50 such cases since 2023 lured by wealth, trapped by violence. What starts as a lifeline ends as a noose, and the cost is heartbreaking.

This isn’t just about dating, it’s dismantling society. When love hinges on “pesa” not passion, foundations crack. Marriages sparked by a “wababa’s” Mercedes or a fat cheque falter fast men tire of being ATMs, women resent empty shells. A friend’s cousin wed a wealthy older guy in 2022; by 2024, she was divorced, citing “he bought me, not loved me.” Young men, outgunned by luxury cars, delay marriage or opt out, shrinking the pool of stable families. Kids grow up in fractured homes, and the AirBnB tragedies pile up: a lady’s body found in Karen last month, linked to a “wababa” in a Mercedes, is just one headline too many. Love’s new price tag isn’t just breaking hearts, it’s breaking us.

Some might argue this is progress women choosing security over starry eyes is empowerment, not greed. Fair point: in a tough economy, betting on a broke dreamer is a luxury few can afford. But empowerment shouldn’t mean exploitation. When love’s a transaction, it’s not freedom, it’s a cage. Men aren’t wrong to want affection beyond their accounts; women aren’t wrong to crave stability. The flaw’s in the system, not the sexes. Money’s a tool, not a tether, relying on it alone breeds resentment and ruin, not resilience.

We can turn this ship around. First, ease the pressure: government must pump jobs into the economy cut youth unemployment, and the “pesa” panic fades. Second, spark dialogue schools, churches, bars about love that lasts past paychecks. Men, offer loyalty and grit, not just cash; women, value a partner’s soul, not his sedan. Third, ditch the “wababa” playbook communities can pool resources, turn idle land into farms, and fund futures, not flash. Picture maize fields feeding families, not just wallets. It’s not naive it’s necessary.

Love shouldn’t be a Mercedes key or a bank alert. That  walk peeled back a truth: we’re a generation seduced by wealth, but we don’t have to stay there. True love messy, deep, broke or not outlasts any luxury car. I’ve seen the wreckage: marriages in shards, Airbnbs' as graves. Our shame’s in letting money rule; our power’s in fighting back. Let’s rebuild love, not as a deal, but as a defiance a stand for what’s real. Act now, talk, build, choose or we’ll bury more than relationships. We’ll bury hope.